Random amusing conversation with a hardcore “Bullet” fan

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Random amusing conversation with a hardcore “Bullet” fan


I love the Royal Enfield, I feel it is among the most iconic and important motorcycle brands in India. There, I said it before you go all guns blazing; calling me everything from a “plastic biker” to a “faggot”. This was a random conversation which I had with an utterly misinformed Thunderbird 350 rider at a parking lot. The whole idea of sharing the conversation is to have a light-hearted laugh and not to start the age old “Metal Bike VS Plastic Bike” war.

A Thunderbird 350 guy came dug-duging and parked his bike beside me.

Macho-Thunderbird-owner – Oh Duke? Nice. Kitne me kharida?

Me – 1.64 on road.

Now-surprised-super-macho-Thunderbird-owner – Itna mehnga! Ye toh mere “Bullet” jitna mehnga hai!

I generally don’t get into discussion with religious “bullet” lovers but since I was waiting for someone at the parking lot, I decided to have some fun while killing time.

Me – Mehnga toh hai. By the way, Apka Thunderbird liquid cooled hai?

Macho-Thunderbird-Owner – Liquid cooled matlab?

Me – Matlab ap engine ko thanda karne k liye coolant daalte ho bike me?

Overconfident-Macho-Thunderbird-owner – Coolant? Wo toh four-wheeler me daalte hain.

Me – Nahi, bike me bhi dalte hain, mere Duke me dalte hain coolant, engine garam nahi hota is se. Acha, fuel injection toh hoga apke bike me?

Now-not-so-macho-Thunderbird-owner – Er, shayad hai.

Me – Oh nahi, apka toh carb system hai. Acha,Maine suna hai Thunderbird bohot comfortable hai, Isme monoshock suspension hoga, isliye comfortable hai nah?

Confused-Thunderbird-owner – Malum nahi bhaiya.

Me – Mujhe malum hai, monoshock nahi hai. Chalo easy language me baat karte hain, Thunderbird toh kafi bhari hai nah? Apka jab tyre puncture ho jata hai toh ap kya karte ho?

Timid-Thunderbird-owner – Repair ki dukan me leke jata hoon.

Me – Oh ho! Tubeless tyre nahi hai kya? Mera Duke puncture hota hai toh main aram se puncture repair ki dukan tak bike chala k leke jata hoon.

The Thunderbird owner doesn’t says anything.

Me – Top speed kitna tak jata hai apke Thunderbird ka?

Sudden-confidence-return-of-Thunderbird-owner – A.J.C Bose flyover pe har roz 115 uth ta hai! Apka kitna uth ta hai?

Me – Kya baat hai! Mera aj tak main maximum 134 kmph tak leke ja paya hoon, shayad aur thoda increase ho sakta hai.

Thunderbird owner speechless again.

Me – Ye shayad apke liye sab se important hoga, mileage kitna hai apke Thunderbird ka?

Dejected-Thunderbird-owner – Bhaiya “bullet” rakhna haati paalne k barabar hai, bas 25-28 ka mileage deta hai ye.

Me – oh wo toh bohot kamm hai, Duke atleast 36-38 deta hai, kabhi kabhi 40+ bhi deta hai.

Shocked-Thunderbird-owner-with-big-eyes – kya baat kar rahe ho! 40?!!!

He then comes across to have a good look at Dukey.

Thunderbird-owner – apke bike me kick-start nahi hai?

Me – Nahi bhaiya, kick-start nahi hai. Apke Thunderbird me hai nah? Ap theek hi bolte ho, Duke sach me mehnga hai, 1.64 lakh ka bike aur kick start bhi nahi hai!!

At this point I meet the person who I was waiting for in the parking lot and leave The-Macho-Thunderbird-owner after giving him a wink.


Once again, I would like to reiterate that my intention is not to defame any brand or hurt the sentiments of any Royal Enfield aficionado. The Thunderbird owner did not know the basic difference between a “Bullet” and a “ThunderBird” which makes it apparent that he hardly had any idea about his motorcycle. I am sure a more knowledgeable person would have come up with a better argument.

So for a change, lets not take things personally with this article. Lets ride to a dhaba, plastic and metal together, eat some fried chicken and drink some beer. The first round is on me.

Feature Image Courtesy

Ramneek – Born with a wanderlust and a love for telling stories with his words, Ramneek has been riding his puny but humble Pulsar all across the country. He presently pulls himself out his of bed every morning to go to work in a multinational corporation and his biggest desire in life is to live life on the road with his favorite partner. Kickassmotorcycling is his brainchild and he is the creative force behind the website. To get in touch with him click on the "Kickass Team" above.
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Showing 4 comments
  • Abhishek

    LOL… some times I find bhakts of Royal in-the-field with CI engine, saying they don’t get the logic of new engines…now I get why..;)

    • Ramneek

      Modi Bhakts and RE Bhakts, both are quite similar. ;)

  • Prashanth

    I enjoyed that dialogue. Ive been riding my motorcycle from ’97.

    A ’97 Royal Enfield 350 Deluxe (12 volt made it more luxurious i suppose).

    I have come across people from the same “bloodline” as the one you coincidentally were blessed to pun at the parking lot. I personally have nothing against “new generation” engines or anything towards older iron. For me motorcycles are freedom. From a TVS 50 and above i thoroughly enjoy the feeling of being on the road.

    Unfortunately, for some “bikers” what they ride is the epitome of two wheeled machinery. Their ignorance to learn and know more is restricted by certain circumstances. Can’t really blame them.

    Like someone famous said – “Its not what you ride. Its that you ride”

    Cheers everyone….

    • Ramneek

      Ah, what a lovely thought “its not what you ride, but what rides you” I am gonna use it for the part 2 of my article on “kickass motorcycling quotes”.

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